Explainative

[synapticjava]

Well for the record, I've subsided from *rage* to an exhausted form of sadness. It's mostly about Burger King. No no, not sad about quitting, but sad of some of the outcomes. I found out what a lot of people *really* thought of me. And it hurts. Why can't people just be honest? That's at least one thing I try to do - if I don't like you I don't like you. I'm not going to lie. But I can at least be civil. But I don't go out of my way to be nice to someone and then turn around and say the worst possible things about them. That's just mean. And it hurts. And now I'm all paranoid about everyone I know - no one being honest with me about anything. Trust issues? Hell yeah, and for damn good reasons. Which really sucks because I was in a good place to leave this bullshit behind. What the fuck ever. How fucking rude.

Also at this particular juncture, I want nothing to do with my mother's husband. I thought we had made some sort of progress the past couple of years, but I was wrong about that too. Go to hell.

So now I'm down to a few days before my grand return to school. And I'm dealing with issues I wish would have stayed the hell away a while longer. And feeling alone and betrayed. Yay. Great. I'll just be over here in this corner. Feel free to come up and kick me. Why not? I'm down.

Comments

it sucks

[scottrossi.livejournal.com]

it sucks when you find out that the people you thought were your friends, or at the least, were friendly toward you, were really being nice to your face, and scorpions behind it. i am sorry you had to go through it, it is something few people deserve, and it is a trying time. rest assured however, that it comes back on them. the people that they think are their friends really are the same way, as they also have trust issues against each other, due to their behaviors, so trust me, it is a mutually destructive situation on their side. you may have been burned now, but they will face an inferno in their waking lives. you'll get through it, they are trash.

Re: it sucks

[chocgood84.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I suppose that's true. Never really thought of it like that. I'm not so much upset about what they said, I'm more upset that they said it. I thought we had built some form of relationship, and that's what hurts. Whatever, dropping off the baggage - don't need it.