Bleh. still unpacking. This would probably go faster if I wasn't so exhausted when I get home from work. Right now our comp is through the roof, which means more payroll is available. At the exact same time, we lose a manager and all the kids are back in school. Shorthand: I'm tired, yo! I was supposed to go over to Justin and Cari's tonight (which is right across the parking lot), and had to cancel because the thought of putting on shoes and walking that far makes me go "bleh." I think I'll satiate myself with french toast and scrambled eggs. Yum.

In the meantime, I'm wrapping up everything at the old place this weekend. Dropping off the spare key at the new owner's office with a note that in no uncertain terms means "no security deposit returned: no cleaning - also I took everything including the lightbulbs".

And now I just need to wait for my towels to finish in the dryer so I can melt myself in the shower and pass the hell out. Repeat: I'm tired, yo!
Just unpacked all of the office. Apparently I do have enough manuscripts/projects/reference guides and miscellanious "office" stuff to have one. Enough, in fact, that I don't know where to start putting stuff away at. Right now I think I'm content with just getting the boxes hidden away in one of the closets. This is perfect. Got a view of the entrance way/countryside, plenty of fresh air, and tons of inspiration materials. I'm really hoping to jumpstart my writing again, and maybe this will help. Hanging right over my desk is the framed poem I got published and my framed graduation announcement. And again, I'm feeling increidlbly full. Those were happy days for me. I also hung something I found in a box I never even unpacked after moving from chicago. It's one of those silly "friends through thick & thin" Hallmark frames. Inside is a letter that reads:

What can we have been a vital member of this team since the day you started and even though you don't technically work in the office we will always consider you to be one of us. You've come a long way from the Brad who first came to college to the person you have become today. You shouold feel extremely proud of everything you have accomplished! We are! Never forget you have friends who will listen...of course you know we will also give our opinions...Keep in touch!

It's signed by all the staff members of the Admissions department from Barat. I've done a lot of stupid things that - though I don't regret - I'm not proud of. These serve as reminders that there are also many things that I've done that I should thank God every day for that I was able to accomplish.

I think that's enough for now. I feel a hot shower with my new shower head followed by a night of uninteruppted slumber calling my name.
Getting ready for bed, after a nice long hot shower. Got all moved in, and am still in the (seemingly) never-ending task of unpacking. So far I've got every room set up how I like it, I just need to find places for everything, etc. Tom's pretty good at that, maybe I'll leave some for him to do. He brought down a bunch of stuff from his dorm room. Clothes, slippers, some games and whatnot. Every day with him it feels more and more real. I finally told him last night how terrified I am that his parents will find out (about his sexuality, about me) and force him to choose between me or them. It was a pretty hearty - not to mention healthy - conversation. I just wish there were words to describe how he makes me much better everything seems when he smiles at me, kisses me. How connected I feel when he holds my hand with his so that our rings click against each other. I'm having those abdominal pains again, so this weekend I wasn't able to be very physical with him, and instead of being dissapointed or mad or frustrated...he asked if there was anything he could do - told me that he's calling the doctor FOR me if I don't call one myself because "your health is the most important thing to me." Is this the way it's supposed to be? The way this should feel? I keep asking myself, and though I don't know the answer, I do know that I love this, love him, love us and how and who we are together. There are so many new things in my life. I'm not afraid of that anymore. I wasn't the least bit nervous or anxious moving into this apartment. I don't have the slightest doubt about this relationship. It's been quite a while now, and I still feel this overwhelming feeling of hapiness and rightness. I can't explain it any better than that.
It's scary how good I'm getting at this. Within twenty four hours, I've signed a new lease, taken time off of work next weekend, and gotten most of the living room, including most of the breakables, packed. I can start moving on Tuesday. Which means by Friday night next week I should be all moved into the new place. All that's left is to transfer the DSL/phone, pay off the remaining balances on my utilities here (er, the gas at least because that's in my name, unlike the electric, which I will not be paying because it is in Giordano's name). After I get settled into the new place, I'll be swinging by the courthouse and filing small claims against the bastard. Turns out this is all highly illegal. Also - the whole refrigerator and leaking roof and unusable fire escape - all illegal. New landlady says I should be able to get a sizable chunk of money out of him. And at the very least my deposit and moving expenses. It helps that she's backing me 100% and happens to know the judge.

At least it's not just me. Apparently, he owns this whole block. Four of my neighbors knocked on my door this morning asking if I also recieved a letter. I told them what my plans are, and we all exchanged numbers and emails. Might wind up being a group thing. I feel bad for them - they all have no where to go. I lucked out, barely surviving the credit check for the new place. And I have some terrific friends that are happy to help me out with moving (again). Listening to them, they can't afford anything more than what they are paying, let alone moving expenses.

Well, that's enough of a break. I'm gonna get back to packing. Tom'll be here in the morning before I leave for work. We'll spend tomorrow afternoon packing and then I'm popping for a nice dinner out.

And again, though I dread the act of moving, I'm excited. I really feel like this was my transition place - just look at how I've changed in the 6 months I've been here - between my life then and my life now. And like all transitions, there comes a time to leave the past behind and step into tomorrow. I'm ready. This is going to be really great for me. I can just feel it.
synapticjava: (lost my shoe)
( Jan. 17th, 2008 08:27 pm)
Honestly, I'm taking this better than even I expected. Maybe it's because of these crazy past couple of years. Truth be told I hate this apartment. It wasn't bad at first when it was the flight from Frank. But it's been grating. It will be nice to be able to shower, even when it rains.

And maybe I'm getting a little too good at this. I've already (almost) got another place that I can move into within a week. Nice two bedroom, utilities included. Fridge. Stove. Dishwasher (what is this water box you put dirty dishes in?). Garbage disposal. Balcony. A little further from work (though not as far as Frankfort was), and a little more expensive (though not as expensive as Chicago). Maybe the price will help - get my lazy butt motivated to really throw myself into the job search. Once I move in, it can be really awesome. Also, after talking to the manager for a good hour or so, I really like their staff.

My living room is already torn up, organized into box-groups. Once I get boxes, all I gotta do is toss my crap in. And I'm thinking: not so much with the big clean-up. Number 1 priority is getting everything out. Bleh. I'm so not intrested in packing/moving/unpacking all over again. But...there are some great things to come.

Weird. I'm actually kinda excited.
synapticjava: (fuck off)
( Jan. 17th, 2008 02:44 pm)
Got a letter from the landlord today. He filed bankruptcy last week, and is evicting EVERYONE. I now have a little more than a week to find a new apartment and come up with a deposit, pack, and move. Man I have bad luck with apartments. *sigh*

Prayers accepted and graciously appreciated.

On the upside: I'll have a refrigerator again!
synapticjava: (yippee!)
( May. 2nd, 2007 05:59 pm)
We got the townhouse.  We're going tomorrow to sign the lease and pick up the keys.  We have to wait till Fri to have the electricity turned on, but I think tomorrow/night we'll start moving stuff in.  It's maybe not the ideal location (I'm commuting 35 miles to work and 35 back) distance wise, but I do really like it.  It's even got this really cute little patio that we can get a little breakfast table set to put out there, and a grill.  Not that Frank's a morning person (hell, he's barely an afternoon person).  So hopefully, by the end of the weekend, we'll have everything moved in.  Then comes the horror of unpacking, and then looking for furniture to fill it - which will be a LONG, steady process.

You know, it's kind of weird, everything.  I'm amazed by how well everything seems to be going, despite all of the little problems that have come up.  But I can't remember being this happy before.
One week, people.  THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

No, really - In literally a week, my life will be here (meaning, Indy, of course).  So this is what nervous is.  Nice.

The moving isn't exactly going entirely as smoothly as I hoped.  Once I finally found a rental truck for under $300, they were out.  So I'm doing this the college way: several trips in my car.  I brought down a load last night, which is really about half my apartment not including furniture.  So I'm hoping one more trip, and then borrowing a friend's truck should do it.  All these little expenses keep popping up.  And, I can't really do a whole lot because my last week at Omax is turning out to be more stressful than anything before it.  They're firing 3 managers and two employees, right during inventory/me moving.  I think they're doing this on purpose.  One call to HR has cleared up a few issues, but not everything.  I just have to survive another week and I'll be good.  Also, the landlord still hasn't gotten back to us about whether or not we even HAVE the apartment.  I'm about 90% sure we do, but it's that 10% that's nagging at me.  Frank says not to worry and to leave everything up to him.  Like I said - do you know me?  I'm not so much a "we'll just see how this goes" kinda guy.  But I'm trying.

Funny - despite all of this, I still couldn't be happier or more excited.  I mean, every thing's going to change.  I can start over, or not over, but hop in the slow lane for a bit.  Can't say that's not enticing.

*deep breath*

(I'm still kinda stuck on this - "is this really happening to me?  am I crazy?" feeling)
synapticjava: (sweet)
( Apr. 15th, 2007 06:09 pm)
I just told my parents the whole shebang. Moving to Indy, in with Frank, getting a promotion at OMax. My mom was so excited for me, so happy about the whole thing. Her exact words were "congratulations on the promotion, and congratulations to both of you, I'm so happy for you."

I can't even begin to explain what a huge deal withs is. I knew eventually she'd be okay with it, but I honestly didn't expect to have her support and her blessing. It just makes everything, which was great, even better.

Oh, that was the other news - not sure if I got a chance to post it - the transfer went through, afterall, and as it turns out, it's considered a promotion.

And also - we have a place. We're waiting to hear back about our applicaiton (credit is an issue - he has little, and I have horrible). But the place is gorgeous. 1100sq feet (we think that's just an estimate, because it's huge - at least 4x the size of my current apt, which is 400sq ft), two bedrooms, dining room, living room, huge kitchen. Clawfoot bathtub in the bathroom, fireplace, chandelier in the dining room. It's aboslutely gorgeous. And I'd only be paying one third of what I pay here in Chicago.

I really can't believe that this is all happening. Everything is going so well; it's all going so right. It's all just so encredibly amazing. I get to live with this man that I love, I get to move on from things I want to, I get to change my life for the better and finally feel like I'm moving somewhere instead of backwards or sideways. It's incredible. I never in a million years thought this would actually be happening, but it is. It really is.

It's so weird to see my apartment getting emptier and emptier every day. Every box I pack and every picture I take down makes me happier, but more and more nostalgic. It's an odd feeling seeing the floor pile up with boxes of my life. In less than two weeks, it's all going to be in another place. Everything is changing again, and it's getting better. Not that within Indy's borders lies a true Utopia, but there are so many good things there.

It's strange. I haven't had a truly bad day or felt like I couldn't do anything or even felt like anything in my life is wrong in a really long time. It's something I can get used to.
I'm being naughty and breaking the "no internet at work!" rule.  Shhhh.  Don't tell.

Is it just me or is time flying faster than ever?  It's already almost Easter.  When did that happen?

Chicago news: still hate it.  Although now that the move-date is coming faster, I'm starting to like it again in a "gosh, I'll miss my neighborhood hobo peeing on our dumpsters every morning," or "Oh, CTA, how I'll miss you always finding a way of making me 20min late for work on really important days," kinda way.  You know, sentamental things like that.  I also gave my resignation (finally) to iRi.  They were not pleased.  But, what can you do?  It's not like I really did all that much while I lived here.  Sheesh.

Indy news: Still waiting to hear back about my transfer status w/Omax.  Getting way nervous now.  I don't know if I have it in me to start looking for a job all over again in a strange place.  Frank and I are going apartment hunting this weekend while I'm there.  Looking for a two-bedroom, so we can have a game room/office area (between the two of us, we have 5 different game systems, and he wants to hook it all up into this massive entertainment thing.  I said: whatever.).  Between Indianapolis and Frankfort, probably, since we'll both have to commute.  And hopefully we'll be able to get a puppy:)

Move news: Yeah, see, I've never moved across state before, and it's a little bit odd thinking about things like declaring myself a citizen of a different state than which I was born and raised.  Having to get a new liscence.  Although, really, Indiana is just like Illinois, only there's no gigantuan city sucking up the state's population.  It's like Illinois Lite.  Also, I've never really "moved" except from college to home to college to my apt.  Which is not the same as moving from apt to apt in another place.  Not quite sure how this is going to work.  I've already started packing, though, and I went through and got rid of about half my wardrobe (is anyone else going WTF?) that I don't need, wear, or want anymore.  Frank helped - he was more than happy to.  He's a pretty minimal guy - a few t's, some jeans, and his work outfit and he's happy.  Um.  Me, not so much.

The worst/funniest/oddest part is that I still haven't told my parents.  Not that I'm seeing anyone, not that I'm moving, and definetely not that I'm moving in with my other in another state.  I don't think that conversation will go well.  It's just a theory.

Am I dreaming?  Am I asleep?

ETA: Oops, guess I typed too fast.  My parents do know that I'm seeing someone (Frank), but they don't know I'm moving to Indiana to be with him.  Sorry to give ya a heart attack, Vive ;)