Saw Star Trek tonight. Loved it! Even if you don't like/know the series, you should see it. It's just an awesome movie all around. Plus, Spock = Orgasm for the eys. So, so, pretty. I haven't read fic in I can't tell you how long, but I'm inspired to search for some yummy Spock/Kirk fic. Or even some Spock/Russian guy fic (because, though dirty, YUM). I'm almost hoping there are no sequels because I'll have to see them and if they have to do a cast-member-switcheroo I'll be pissed.

It's been a strange day. I wound up at a bar, where by happenstance Justin and Cari and a bunch of friends were. I wasn't invited, I just happened to wander in there after the movie. And suddenly, an encredibly brave thing (to me) turned into a kick in the head. If nothing else, it really cemented my desire to leave here as soon as possible. Again, I love my friends, but WTF? After they left, I wound up exchanging forced small-talk with Brent until he feigned weariness and took off. I felt like I was back in high school trying to play it cool so none of the real cool kids would be able to tell I'm really a loser. Not that I currently think I'm a loser, but it's amazing how old vices are triggers, isn't it? I've decided to take it for face value and believe they really just didn't think about me. I'll take inconsideration over despondance any day.

Anyway, some good came out of today. On my way home, I pulled over at a favorite spot me and Tom used to park at and just talk. And I realized, while listening to some disasterously sad music, that I'm in both a)the very same place and b)an entirely different place than I was two years ago. Or rather, the same place but a very different me. For better or worse, I'm not the same guy that fled the failure of Chicago and ran into the arms of a guy that couldn't and wouldn't ever truly care about me. I've done far too much in my life for other people. I went to college for my mom. I left Chicago for Frank, and I stayed for Tom. I only wish I knew what it was I really want out of my life so that I could focus on that and finally do something for myself. I'm suddenly finding myself in the middle of the Great Gatsby. But I guess being aware of being unaware is better than simply being clueless. And maybe saying goodbye to so much is, in the end, good.
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From: [identity profile]

Isn't it just brilliant?! Loved it to tiny little bits and I'm hoping if there is a sequel, the same actors have already signed a two or maybe three picture deal. *fingers crossed* [ profile] spikedluv has been very busy reccing fic (mostly K/S but other pairings too) and comms, so it's well worth checking out her journal.

Being aware of being unaware is a big step in the right direction! :D

From: [identity profile]

And suddenly, an encredibly brave thing (to me) turned into a kick in the head.

Ugh, that sucks. Even if there was nothing sinister in anyone's intentions, that just plain sucks.


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