So last nights dreams was a sequence in which I was a waiter at this really huge swanky restaurant in NYC. I was apparently, the "best waiter" and the one that the customers really liked. Except that one night I goofed off and the customers weren't happy, nor was my boss. So one of the customers stabbed me in the eye with a shrimp fork and then the manager sent his trained lobsters to devour me. Except when I tried to escape, everyone in the room - a thousand people at least - started doing a conga line around the room blocking the exits. And as the head lobster - General Pinchy they called him - got closer to eating me, he laughed in a french accent and said "C'est la vie, mon ami." Which means "that's life, my friend" if you don't know french. And then he pinched and clawed me to death with the help of his platoon.

Honestly? That's just jacked up.


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